Frustrated rambling....

Ok, so in the continuing saga of the internet where I work. It's looking like it's more and more likely that soon I will not have access to the internet at all at work. grrrr...All because of these stupid Windows XP computers and how very difficult it is to keep stuff from getting into them. Dont' get me started.Anyhoo....apparently it took the IT guys 2 hours to "clean" the computer of all the garbage that decided to attach itself to my compter and so of course I got a nice e-mail from my boss reminding me about being careful when going to internet sites and all that...blah blah blah....And, long story short, if it starts happening again, they will just have to cut off our internet all together except for the things we have to have for work related purposes. oooooohhhhhhhh!!!! Ok, and now for my positive thought for the day....Had a really funny thing happen at my house. So my kids and I are sitting in the living room talking...and all of a sudden there's a bolt of lightning out the window and few seconds later a thunder clap. Well...right after the thunder clap my youngest son (formerly known as Hobbitlad, now Gil-ga-lad) says. "Fight the Iraqi's!" Just like that. Out of the blue he says that. We all started cracking up because it was just so random! LOL!!! What a strange little boy. Oh and my sister-in-law finally got her rum today. LOL! We had bought her a bottle of Tortuga Dark Rum when we were on our cruise but had no way of getting it to her. Well, my mother-in-law was going to see her today and took it to her. Yay!! She liked it. Oh and I leave tomorrow for Ohio to see my family and Howard Shore. Well...I'm going to his Concert. I'll be going with TrueHeartedEasterling and meeting FredO and Agape there. Yay!! (ok, this posting positive stuff is getting easier. :-)

Testing this out....cut

Ok, I asked the question and then answered it myself. I'm gonna give this "cut" thing a go. Her are the lyrics to another Artist Lyrics: Jennifer Knapp Song Lyrics: Hold Me Now Album Lyrics: Kansas From the glass alabaster she poured out the depth of her soulO foot of Christ would you wait if her harlotries known?Falls a tear to darken the dirtOf humblest offerings to forgive the hurtShe is strong enough to stand in your loveI can hear her say....I'm weakI'm poorI'm broken, LordBut I'm your'sHold me now, hold me nowLet he without sin cast the first stone if he willTo say that my bride isn't worth half the blood that I've spilledPoint your finger and laugh if you chooseTo say my beloved is borrowed and usedShe is strong enough to stand in My loveI can hear her say....I'm weakI'm poorI'm broken, LordBut I'm your'sHold me now, hold me now Song. Let's see how this works.It works, it works...yipeee!!

Gaaaahhhh!!!!

I hate computers. Well...let me clarify that. I hate my work computer. See, we have this really pretty restrictive internet policy that I try to adhere to very diligently. I only go to the web (well, mostly) during my breaks, tis my right. No different in my opinion than using the company phone to make personal phone calls during a break, right? So, I try to be very good and only go during my breaks. Well, tonight I went to a site that I had previously bookmarked that had lyrics for Jennifer Knapp songs. I was gonna post another set of lyrics here. Well...just that attempt to go to that site produced a plethora of UNIVITED internet activity that ended up with multiple games and other programs being installed on my computer. WITHOUT MY CONSENT OR KNOWLEDGE!!!!So, I spent half my break time trying to uninstall all these things and now I have to worry about our IT department coming to me and asking me why I'm downloading stuff. Gaaahhh!!!The end result will probably be that I'm not allowed to use the internet at all and that means bye bye to most of my LJ time. Already I cannot access the Fan Club boards from work and many other sites that I would go to DURING BREAKS because of the "surf watch" thingamabob. So...I was going to use this time to journal my positive experience of the day (maybe I'll have to think on that and post it in the next break) and I was gonna ask how you all do that thing where you include a link to your message. I think I've seen some of you refer to it as a "cut". How do you do that? So...ok. My rant is over now and my break time is quickly dimishing. I'm gonna use the remainder to read some of your journals and then I'll get back to work. *walks away muttering* stupid puters, stupid puters.....mmmmmmhehehammgahga hga gkja' ga slgka 'l gjhg

I feel so smart!!!

Well, after very little sleep all weekend and a nice long nap this afternoon, I'm ready to tell my tale. It was a great weekend. First of all, I've been going to these events for so long that I know alot of the event staff and other youth leaders and kids and seeing them here each year is like a family reunion of sorts.(lots of hugging. Not unlike a ringer get to-gether) A couple of guys that were in the youth group (now almost done with college) came out for the day. Had dinner Saturday night with my two good friends who live right her in Rockford, but with our busy lives and so on, it gets hard to see them very often. It was nice to visit and get re-aquainted with them. And my trek....was......fantastic. Oh my gosh..I just feel so good about it. Thank you all who were praying for me. It worked!!! I had some other prayers for me as well right before the treks were to begin. I was really nervous and scared about the whole thing right up until I started. 10 minutes before the trek was to start I was still trying to decide which clips to use and all that. I had the LOTR Trivial pursuit game set up in the room and as kids and adults started coming in, we played a round of the game. It was a fun way to stay on topic while people were still ariving. Well, the chairs in the room began to fill up and people started sitting on the floor. And still they came. The room I was assigned to was a meeting room in the hotel. It had a big conference table in the middle of the room, (which was too bad because it meant there wasn't as much space in the room) I'm guessing there ended up being about 50-60 people in the room and they were packed wall to wall. Still a bit nervous but glad to see people were interested in the topic, I began. I started each session the same way even though the topic was slightly different. I started by reading Tolkien's quote from the forward of "Fellowship" about how he dislikes allegory. I made it very clear up front that I was not trying to say that Tolkien himself "meant" any of the things I was going to be talking about, except in the way that he was a Christian himself and his Christianity came though in his writing. Then I had some LOTR trading card boxes that I had filled with Andes Mints. I passed them around and offered one to every person there. I said this was a symbol of what this trek was all about. That LOTR was full of little "goodies" if you just look, but that it should in no way replace the real "meal" found in the scripture. With those two intro's I would then show a clip or read a section of the book and start the talk. The first session was all about finding ourselves in the characters of LOTR, the second about finding Christ and the third about redemption, hope and mercy in LOTR. It actually became hard sometimes to keep the conversations in the topic. Sometimes folks would start getting into something that really belonged in one of the other sessions and I would have to say..."ah...that's for the next session" There was some good participation and no one seemed bored. I had some new thoughts, some things I hadn't thought of before and some new insights from the kids and the adults. After the sessions, I would usually have one or two adults or kids come up to me and tell me how much they enjoyed it and sometimes offer suggestions or further insights. I even had one lady from a church ask if I would be interested in giving this talk at their church sometime? I gave her my e-mail addy so we'll see what happens with that. I had many unsolicited compliments including the guy in charge of the whole event who said he had heard that my trek "rocked" He was approached by and adult leader who said it was really good ::squeeee::I was so relieved and pleased and proud of myself when it was all over. And I had a really good feeling of accomplishment and in a way validation. Some of you may know about some of my past "issues" with our youth leader over the whole LOTR thing (too much to explain now). It was really cool to be able to look at him and say (not in words, but just with a look) "See, all my time reading the books and going to the movies and talking online with people has paid off! and I have not traded my faith for my love of LOTR"

I'm off

Well...I'm off in a few minutes for a weekend with over 1000 teenagers. It's hard for me to decide who is more fun High Schoolers or Ringers. There are many similarities I've found. I think the thing that draws me to both though is their ability to "play"High School kids can play because they haven't been told not to yet and ringers can play because they've rediscovered (in some cases) that they can. I love that. Oh and can I ask for some prayer coverage for my trek tomorrow? I'm really quite nervous about it. I'm not a good teacher, my words tend to get muddled. Please pray for me that God will give me the right words to say to help these kids see the beauty that is LOTR and more importantly, the Gospel. Also, if you could a more frivolous request....I'm considering dressing in full hobbit garb for the trek. I'm beginning to get cold feet though. I have lots of people encouraging me to do it, but I'm just not sure. I'll let you know when I get back what I end up doing. LOL!! Should be funny if I do. Have a great weekend everyone!!

And now for something completely positive....

Went to Tori's play tonight. Anything goes. Can I just gush for a while about my daughter? She was soooo cute. Well...when I could see her that is. She was only chorus (I know, there are no small parts only small actors) and most of the time I couldn't see her where she was on stage. But when I could see her she looked absolutely radiant!! She looked so comfortable up there and she was having so much fun!! Her and I are going in a week to try out for the summer musicals at the local community theatre. The one's we're trying out for are "Showboat" and "Suessical the musical" I really, really hope she gets a part. I don't even care all that much if I do or not, though it would be great, but I really want her to get a part. This is her second play in High School. It's so cute, they let the kids write their own bio's for the program and both this play and the last one she lists the people she's thankful for. She always puts her family first (this is me beaming with pride) and she'll put some of her friends, but she also always includes Sean as one of the people she's thankful for. Last time she listed him as one of her inspirations. I think I need to take both programs and send them to him. He needs to know how much of an inspiration he has been to her. She is so determined. One of her goals in life is to one day work on a film with him. :-) I think she could do it. Remember at the Oscars when Charlize Theron was thanking her mother for being there for her and believing in her. I had tears in my eyes watching that, because I could totally see Tori up there someday saying something similar. I'm just so proud of her. I hope she can overcome the strikes against her and really make this happen. I wish I knew what to do to help her.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!!

Don't forget to wear your green today everyone!!! (or you might get a pinch. ;-) I've been listening to the Bards all night here at work. In fact Marc put up a new MP3 music magazine with all kinds of great MP3's for your downloading pleasure. http://www.celticmp3s.com/magazine/St_Patricks_Celtic_Music.shtmlHave a green great day everyone!!

Gaaahhhh!!! and World Without Sundays*

Ok, so I spent the better part of yesterday trying to get a handle on my thoughts for this trek I'm leading this weekend. I'm having trouble, I have to tell you. I'm so schiztophrenic about it! I can't decide how to organize it. I started out wanting to go one way and as I work on it, I'm thinking I should go differently. I'm just not sure. My mind's a whirl with many thoughtsAll good and none real badthe only real problem isthey don't make any senseThey whirl around like leaves in the wind"there goes one" "and there another"I'm standing in the midst of themgrasping and grabbingtrying to herd the ideasinto the corral of my mindHowever, on a positive note....World Without Sunday's is playing in Rockford!! My home town. They're playing at a local club here called Kryptonite. I've only been there once, but it's right nearby. They're doing an accoustic set on March 30th and then another on April 3rd. Now I wish I had heard them in LA so I'd know if I want to go see them here.

Procrastination

I'm really a chronic procrastinator. I have one week to get ready for the class thing I'm leading at the youth conference I'm going to. I'm doing it on LOTR and I have three sessions to prepare for. arrrghh!!So, that's what I'll be doing today....Hey, today is Goal Monday, right? Hmm...ok, so my goal for this week is to get the trek ready for Saturday. Whooo Hooo...go me!!

Party Girl!!

Ok, I just had a totally random thought...I watched Elijah on Jay Leno tonight and he talked about going to the "fan" party and staying there all night. Jay had assumed that he would have been to many parties but he didn't. LOL!! It just occured to me that I went to more Oscar Parties than Elijah Wood on Oscar night! ROFL!! Ok, it's 1:30am I'm alone at work and I'm a little goofy tonight. ::shrug::

Pictures!!

Ok, call me an Ent, call me slow, I don't care, but I'm just now figuring out how to get pictures with my posts. Did you see I figured out how to do the mood thing? Question though, it says I can only have three pictures. Is that because I just have a free account? Or is that how it is for all of you? Just wondering.

A good night

I have to journal this before the feeling goes away. I'm feeling so good/content/happy right now. I'm not totally sure why, but I'm afraid it's going to go away so I had journal about it quick. I have a few minutes before I start work. First off, I slept almost all day. When I got up I had coffee (always a good thing) and called my friend Crystal who was going to be in town for a bowling tourny. She and I were gonna get together to just chat or what not as long as she was in town. We decided to come back to my house as she had not seen my pics from California yet and also had not seen Billy on Sharon or Lij on Leno. So, we did all those things I just mentioned. For those who don't know, Crystal was instrumental to me in getting the scrapbook done. I couldn't have done it without her and her personallity is one that is just infectious. She is always so happy and fun to be around. I just love her. Anyway, we looked at my pictures while I told her about the weekend and then we watched the Sharon show (that I had already seen) and the Leno show (that I hadn't) The Leno show was really good!! He really spent alot of time talking to Lij and here is one of the things I think that is contributing to my good mood right now. If any of you have seen it, then you've seen the thing with the girl in the audience. You know how Lij almost went out into the audience and the camera focused on her alot. That girl, whoever she has to still be on cloud nine right now. I wish I knew who she was, I mean, I wish it had been a ringer I knew sitting there like that. Can you imagine if that was our dear True? or Lizmybit? LOL!!! Here's the really neat thing though....a year ago, heck, 6 months ago...if I'd seen that, I would have been feeling somewhat jealous. Feeling like I really wish I could have been there in that audience. That I could have been that girl to get all that attention. But today I feel a total peace about it. I'm not jealous at all. Oh I know that if that had been me, I would have loved it, but I'm not jealous that it wasn't. I can truly enjoy that girls excitment and leave it right there. This is a milestone for me. I think the events of the Oscar weekend have begun for me a new phase of my fandom. It is no longer important that I get to meet all these actors (though I wouldn't say no to an opportunity) What I find in me more these days is an overwhelmign desire to meet and be with more ringers. I miss all the people from Toronto, from LA and those that I have not been able to meet yet. Someone a while ago mentioned (in jest) a LOTR Commune. Where we could all live and work together in Lotr geeky bliss. I'm beginning to think that would be a good idea. LOL!!I'm always so happy just after I've been with ringers. Ok, well, time to go to work now. Love you all!!!!

Lyrics from on...

Lyrics from one of my favorite Jennifer Knapp songs:Jennifer Knapp - Refine MeI come into this placeBurning to receive Your peaceI come with my own chainsFrom wars I’ve fought for my own selfish gainYou’re my God and my FatherI’ve accepted Your SonBut my soul feels so empty nowWhat have I become?Lord, come with Your fireBurn my desires refine meLord, my will has deceived mePlease come and free meRefine me, refine meMy heart can’t seeWhen I only look at meMy soul can’t hearWhen I only think of my own fearsThey are gone in a momentYou’re forever the sameWhy did I look away from You?How can I speak Your name?Lord, come with Your fireBurn my desires refine meLord, my will has deceived mePlease come and free meCome rescue this childFor I long to be reconciled to YouRefine meAll I can doIs lift my heart, my soul to YouAnd pray, and pray, Oh I will pray

Aaahh...aaahhhh....Choooooo!!!!

Dust bunnies everywhere. Gah!!!! *ah chooo* How can just one room get sooooo dusty? I feel like I'm in Moria. Seriously! I mean, blowing the dust off of books and everything. No skeletons foud so far, but there's still a chance!! Sheesh!

Stuff!!!

Ok, so I opted for cleaning the house rather than the movie. I know, not the fun option but since the day started with me sleeping in and then my hubby screaming at the kids about how messy the house was, I felt guilted into staying home and cleaning up. sighYou know what I really hate though...my house is so full of clutter and clutter build up, I can't just decide to clean one room because as soon as I do that, I find that there are so many other area's that need to be worked on and I'm so ADD I can't just focus on one thing long enough to feel as if I've accomplished anything. On the plus side, church tonight was really good. It had a really calming effect on me. It was a good way to end the day. Tomorrow I'm going to begin in earnest to un-mathom my house. Wish me luck!

Decisions, decisions....

Ok, so I totally blew off yesterday in terms of getting anything done. I went to my son's fun fair, took a nap, played on the computer and watched the rest of the first season of "24" on DVD, then went to bed. My plan for today was to get some stuff done since I did so little yesterday, but now today is here and I have to desire to do anything. Actually, I really want to go see either Hidalgo or ROTK again (seeing as how it won't be around much longer), but I'm feeling so guilty about going to a movie when my house is so messy. Gaaahhhhh!!!!!But, being here and typing up this journal entry isn't helping, so off I go to do "something". Mood today: blah!

Tired, soo very tired

I really don't know if it's that I got so little sleep in LA and am still trying to catch up or if it's that I just started working night shift (look for many of my entries to be made at 3:00am) or a combination of both. It might also be that I'm just tired of real life. This is the real problem with going on ringer events. I always have so much fun and love the people and love my time with them, but then when I go back to the real world, I find that I just don't care about all the mundane things. Ok, warning...really snotty rant coming up....What is it with people at work and stupid questions? I'm sitting there at work, bleary eyed at 7:00, waiting for 7:30 so I can go home and the day shift people start coming in. They look at me with bright shining, wide awake faces and go "So, how do you like working nights"? I tried really hard to come up with something whitty and sarcastic to say, but in my sleep deprived state all I could think of was to put on a sickeningly sweet smile and say "I LOVE it". I guess I shouldn't get annoyed they're only trying to be nice. I guess I'm just still kind of bitter that I have to work nights at all. If my husband could just get a job I wouldn't have to do this. I don't have one of those cute little "mood" things so I'll just add it myself. Mood today : feeling sorry for myself.